The Diary of the Wasteland Bear God — Season Two — Episode Two: That’s No Space Station

The Diary of The Wasteland Bear God Logo Pew Pew
“Set laser breath to DESTROY!”

Episode One: Parts One and Two

“There will be no mistakes this time,” he said aloud, with the only audience being himself and the computer that listened obediently at his commands.

Blitzkrieg stared out the massive bay window that now looked upon the planet Earth. The moon base had been completed well ahead of schedule. As a “thanks” for their service, the remnants of The Toymaker’s forces were obliterated—discarded to the frigid void of space.bided his time by rising the ranks, infiltrated The Toymaker, and seized control of the most powerful weapon ever made by mankind; more powerful than any nuclear weapon.

It was no mere moon anymore. It had been mined, artificial gravity implemented, terraformed and programmed for self-sustaining, complete recyclable materials, biodegradable waste, satellite TV, fiber optic internet, nukes from orbit, lasers, one gigantic laser, an open bar, buffet, and free Wi-Fi. It would be the instrument to usher in fear in the galaxy and would be the crowning achievement of mankind. None would be able to challenge him or this space stations capabilities.

Blitzkrieg was no fool. Unlike his predecessors and colleagues, he studied meticulously. He knew about the one-meter wide port that could destabilize the base, and cause it to blow up. As such, he had ordered the sealing of all holes that could, otherwise, be really bad news if it were to be sabotaged. Body scans, a wall, missiles, lasers, increased tariffs, bans and employing banhammer bots; these were just extra…precautions.

Yes, he would bring order and chaos to the galaxy, just as he always intended. Even if it made no logical sense in destroying worlds and ruling empty space. Logical fallacies. . .were some peoples’ strong suit. Regardless, he had plans. As such, he wanted to start by punishing the planet that birthed him a horrible past, and one unfaithful wretch that cheated on him with that asshole taxidermist named Daryl from New Georgia.

Blitzkrieg raised his voice, “Computer, set the laser to fire at Earth. Location, New Georgia.”

The computer paused, processing the request. “Acknowledged, Commander. Firing will commence in. . .three days.”

“What the?! Ugh, why does it have such a long charge time?” he facepalmed.

“Lack of human and, or, servants has made it harder for self-calculation, preparation, firing, etc. Commander.”

The console beeped, reading “one percent” on it. “I suppose I should manufacture some bots then. It is a new age, after all,” he grinned.
Yes, it was clear this time. Crystal clear.

“There will be no mistakes this time,” Blitzkrieg smiled to himself.


While Ben and the others all welcomed back the Bear God, a shiver ran up his spine. A disturbance that foreboded a very, very, very bad thing that was going to happen.


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