The Diary of the Wasteland Bear God: Holy Diver

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Our intrepid heroes ventured through the Wasteland back towards the Toymaker’s lair…facility…house…apartment? Hideout? What the hell is it again exactly?
It’s like an island…lair…thing.
That doesn’t help. Whatever. We’re gonna go with base. Alright, let’s start over again.

Our intrepid heroes ventured through the Wasteland back towards the Toymaker’s base. The group set on exacting vengeance for the settlement that was destroyed. The cold-blooded murder of countless people, and the orchestration of sending the SS [not actually known as the same Suicide Squad or any affiliation with the SS in WWII, so you can stop that assumption, chumps.] to their graves, just for his amusement.
The Toymaker has unleashed his armies of various creations, set to defend their creator, and stop at nothing for victory. Meanwhile, he is constructing an interdimensional portal; one that could bring to him allies he has been in contact with for a while now. The plan to unleash some of the mightiest villains unto the world.


A guard rushed into the underground area where the Toymaker was finishing the portal. “Sir, we have confirmation that the ABG has started the MOTHER project, and it is coming right for the planet.”
The Toymaker looked at the guard. “Didn’t I kill you all?”
“No, sir, just the cyborgs,” the guard replied.
The Toymaker nodded, “Ah, I see. Interesting.” He clasped his hands together, “Well, I guess I should be thankful for your news briefing.” He then started to pace around the portal. “You see, I knew the ABG’s little project. It’s their contingency plan, something that they think will allow nature to reclaim the world, wipe us out. ” The Toymaker rolled his head, shoulder to shoulder, “Though, one could have only hoped so…but then again they probably thought that would happen when the Great War happened.” He threw his head back, “HA! Look at us now! We’re still toiling away at ways how to kill one another.”
“Won’t the comet kill the villains too? Is it worth it?” asked the guard.
“Maybe, but it’s not my concern. I am sure they can do something about it. They are evil after all. Who knows, maybe they’ll just let this sad planet die, ha ha!” The Toymaker patted the guard on the shoulder, “Can you think of any better time to be alive, Bob?”
“My name is Steve, sir,” replied the guard.
“Oh?” The Toymaker tilted his head to the side. “That’s funny; I thought you were Bob.” He looked around, searching, “I liked Bob. Where is Bob? What happened to Bob?”
“Uh, you killed Bob when you thought he was me, sir.” Replied Steve.
“Hmm. Well, you know what is going to happen next, right Steve?” The Toymaker grinned sadistically.
Steve rolled his eyes and sighed heavily and replied in a heavy monotone. “You’re going to kill to make an example and let out your frustrations because no one seems to listen to you…sir.”
The Toymaker raised an eyebrow. “Why, yes, yes I am. I mean, I was, but now that you put it that way. I don’t think I will need to do that.”
Steve rolled his eyes, “What will you do now, sir?”
“Why offer you a tribute!” cried the Toymaker, as he shoved Steve towards the portal, impaling him on the harvester that used blood to fuel the portal.
Steve grunted as he made contact. “Well, done, sir.”
The Toymaker bowed and flipped a few switches. In seconds, Steve was disintegrated into nothingness, and the portal began to glow a bright blue.
He sighed and slammed a fist down on the controller. “Ah, it still needs more fuel…go figure. Ah, why is good help so hard to find?”
The Toymaker amplified the soul receiver and began absorbing any nearby souls, and radioed for a few creations to come forfeit themselves. Soon enough, he had enough power to fuel the portal and start opening the way to those he held a deal with.
A voice boomed from the other side of the portal as it turned blood red, “Make good on your promise, mortal, or I will—“
“You’ll do what? You’re on that side, while I am here. Now, sit tight, be patient, and shut the hell up while I get things working right.” Said the Toymaker as he typed a few keys on the keyboard.
The voice reached a thunderous roar that even shook the mortal realm. “You dare speak to the Lord of all that is Evil in that tone?!” Then there was a sniffle.
“Are…are you crying?” asked the Toymaker.
“No, there’s something in my eye, and my allergies are acting up.” Replied the “Lord of all that is Evil.”
The Toymaker shrugged, “Whatever. Just give me a few moments and the way will be open.”


Elsewhere, the heroes stepped foot on the Toymaker’s Island. Mayhem was about to ensue.
“You know, at times I wish I could ride a tiger.” said the Bear God as they passed the first gate.

Horrible People

Last time on Diary of the Wasteland Bear God…Z!
Good Help (Is So Hard to Find)


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