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“Shh, not so loud.” Sin batted at the giddy Mirelurk. “Do you want them all to know we’re here?”
Ben cocked his head to the side. “Well, then we’d be able to kill them easily.”
The Bear God shook his head. “The whole point of this is to make sure the hostages, or whatever, don’t die. . . Remember?”
Ben sighed, “Yeah, I know. . .” He clacked his claws a few times, “I don’t really care about them though.”
“Ben. . .” The bear sighed, “some times I really don’t know about you.”
The Mirelurk bounced up and down, either in excitement, or just because he was ready to dismember something, anything.
The trio wandered further in, scanning rooms for anything that gave a hint of what exactly was going on. They came across a terminal in the lobby that glowed white and yellow. Its red letters blinked in a repetitive fashion. Apparently, there was a viral outbreak, and with it, a containment breach on the 20th floor.
“I bet I know where this is going. . .” The Bear God sighed as he went through the terminal, looking for information regarding the ordeal.
After a few moments, he found what he was looking for. “Okay, so they have the FEV virus. . .and. . .there’s a FAP virus. . .cute.”
“I bet whoever came up with that one got a huge pay raise.” Rubricon chuckled.
The big bear clicked through more and more files. “Mm probably, but they probably didn’t get to stay alive long enough to enjoy it. Says here that they tried to fashion a third virus strain that incorporated both strains, and one mystery virus, for use on the world. They had a vaccine made and ready for distribution, but of course, it never saw the light of day. It had a successful kill rate of 99.9%, reanimated the subject one minute after death, and evolved their DNA, bone structure, and. . .well, it cuts off the rest. By the looks of it though, there was a mind control, or some manipulation that could be used. Leave it to the government to fabricate something to destroy its people and then raise them from the dead. . .just to take control of them.”
Rubricon grunted. “Meh. Politics. . .I rather not get into the fun debacle about them.”
Sin nodded. “Agreed. We press on and start making way towards the top.”
The trio began their ascent to the upper floors. They had come across only bodies, and more bodies. Some were clean picked, while others had some sort of green residue. It almost seemed to have resemble slime. . .or rather. . .ectoplasm. Rubricon held up a femur that was severely gnawed on by something monstrous, and examined it.
“So, what do you think?” The Bear God inquired.
“Something bigger than you, clearly.” Rubricon replied as he continued to examine the bone.
“No shit, Sherlock. I mean the green shit. What is it?” Sin retorted.
Rubricon held the bone close to his nose and sniffed it. “Ugh, good grief! That is rancid!” He dropped the bone and waved the air in front of his nose.
“Well yeah. . .what do you expect? It’s probably been here for Maker knows how long.” The bear grunted at the gagging rabbit-man.
The Maker’s voice echoed in their minds, “About 200 years or so. . .“
The Bear God and the Maker began. . .bickering.
“You just like to spy on us. . .don’t you?”
“Don’t you have anything else better to do?”
“Nope, not really.”
“Not give us some hints? Help a brother out? You know. . .not be a dick?”
“Ha, if I did that then I wouldn’t have bothered with you, let alone what’s left of that world.”
“You’re an asshole of a god, aren’t you?”
“I don’t know about being an asshole. . .I mean, sure, I am, but I prefer being called. . .fair.”
“There’s no such thing as a fair asshole. Maybe for gingers, but that’s pushing it.”
“Look, if you guys would just shut up and keep going, then maybe you would, you know, find more stuff. . .maybe clues. GASP! I know it’s such a shocking thing to do, thinking for yourselves. Maybe I shouldn’t have bothered giving you freewill.” The Maker then sighed. “You have all this power, and you decide to be a cunt. . .to me! Pah, maybe I should just let Ben become the new god.”
Ben clacked and clattered his claws. “Oh, that would be quite lovely! I would destroy and smite in your name, oh great and powerful one.”
“Yeah. . .it’s not happening. I tasked the lot of ya, especially, you. . .Sin. . .to help rebuild the Wasteland. Not make it as a sandbox to live out your fantasies, and blow each other off. Now get back on track, or else I won’t tell you about Alpha-01 Crimson Wesker “The Tyrant” that was apart of the GMO Virus dubbed “Terminator Project”, that can raise people from the dead, even skeletons, and make an army of the living dead.”
The trio went silent.
“Well. . .I guess I got a little carried away there. Oh well. So, now that you know. . .and the rest of the world does. . .maybe you can all get on your merry way and start showing off, because I am getting bored observing you guys, but you’re the only thing on. . .so. . .” the Maker then sighed, “dammit.”
The three looked at one another.
“So, this thing’s like a lich, or whatever?” Rubricon asked aloud.
“Sort of. It’s really a fascinating story, I’ll tell you what—”
“Spare us, please. If you really want us to carry on here and you know. . .not be fucking boring. . .OH GREAT ONE!” Sin interjected.
“I see. . . Well, did you ever stop to think that maybe. . .just maybe. . .baby. . .that the reader wanted to know?”
Sin sighed. “They will know. . .I am sure. Since you’re the one “writing” it all out anyway.”
“Ah, guilty as charged.” The Maker chuckled. “Very well, get a move on then, kiddies!”
The trio started to wander past the slimy bone and head for the next stairwell when. . .
“Did you guys know that a pig has an orgasm for 30 minutes? 30 minutes! That’s like nutting for—”
Sin yelled, “Oh for shit sake!”
THE DIARY OF THE WASTELAND BEAR GOD!
Check back Friday for the latest on this season’s Wasteland Bear God! With love, sugar, spice, and screw it. . .I am tossing some “good stuff” in these brownies. . .
Wait. . . this thing’s still on?