Get in the Kitchen and Make Something Bitchin'

Seriously, go get in that kitchen and make something up! I don’t care if it’s mac n’ cheese in a cup. No, I don’t want a sandwich. I can do that myself.
So lemme tell you a fun little story. . .
Some years back, I went to my friend, Dan’s place, along with my other friends. We were all drinking, playing cards, having a grand time, and then it hit us all. We were hungry! So, what do we make? I dunno. That was the typical response with us, but I figured why not cook whilst drunk? We’ll I did. What happened was I took some Velveeta cheese, ground beef, jalapeno peppers, onions, some long grain brown rice, salsa, and made the biggest mash-up in the kitchen. What did it give us? The result was Jalapeno Burgers and “Spanish” Rice.
I have a picture of my “thumbs up” approval somewhere around here. . .
It was actually really good, and I could probably easily do it again, but from there on, we did “drunk cooking” a few times. Unfortunately, we’ve all since scattered to the four winds, but it doesn’t have to stop you from cooking like a beast.
When I was living with my buddy and his girlfriend, I use to make my mac and cheese with a little extra WHAM! by adding pepperoni. Hell, you can jazz up Ramen noodles! Anything’s possible, and it shouldn’t taste horrible either. I mean, yeah, there have been a few reject meals I’ve done, I can admit it (I’m not perfect after all). However, after stomaching those reject meals, I’ve gotten pretty accustomed to making good food, and I always like to check for feedback.
So, lately I’ve had some busy nights and figured. . .”What am I going to make for dinner?” Well, I got this dish, right here, made up.

Chicken, Rice/Quinoa, and Chili
Chicken, Rice/Quinoa, and Chili. Made to order, and ordered to consume.

It’s packaged quinoa and brown rice (Spanish Style), with some bean vegetarian chili (Amy’s), with some Devil’s seasoned chicken on top.
The seasoning I use on the chicken is either Pyromaniac, or Devil’s dust. Check out other spices at Spice Merchants. Good place, good people. Loved visiting them in Traverse City, MI.
Both spices are pretty hot, exotic, and make you wanna take your shirt off and hose off. The chicken I get at Meijer here, is called Smart Chicken. It’s probably the best chicken I’ve had in forever. It’s organic, air chilled, and can cost you a shiny dime. It’s great though! If you want real chicken, buy it, love it, and maybe buy some more of it. I’ve tried other chickens, but this one is by far the best ever (meat that is. . .I mean, chicken tits, er, breasts. Forget it.). It’s juicy, OK?
So, how do I go about making this meal? Easy. Your oven’s broiler!

  • Get your oven preheated, set to broil.
  • Coat your pan in oil, butter, or non-stick spray.
  • Season your meat, and then lay it in the pan.
  • Set it and forget about it! At least for 12 – 15 minutes [broiling].

Next up, you wanna microwave the rice and quinoa mix in its package.

  • Open the top of said package via tearing, since it says so on the directions.
  • Microwave on HIGH for 1 minute.
  • Pull out. Careful, that shit is going to be HOT!
  • ^ Laugh with me.

Next is getting that chili ready.

  • Open can of Amy’s Chili (or your favorite)
  • Pour contents into a bowl and microwave for approximately 1 minute on HIGH; open the door, stir, and set for another 1 minute.


  • Pour contents into a saucepan, warm on the stove for several minutes. DO NOT BOIL!

Alright, so you’ve got the chili and rice/quinoa mix done. Now you’re just waiting around for the chicken to ding! Don’t turn the chicken over. Just don’t. You don’t need to.
If you’re really bored and not pressed for time, you can add spices to your chili and liven it up. Look for chili powder, paprika, cumin, ancho chile powder, etc. Just don’t go balls to the wall with it. You could also add some liquid heat. . .whatever works for you.
OK, so your chicken is done. Your chili is done. Your rice/quinoa mix is done. Start serving it up!

  • Get a plate you intend to eat off of.
  • Dish out a layer of rice/quinoa mix.
  • Take your chicken and slice about an inch (or so) thick, and pile on the rice/quinoa mix.
  • Pour or spoon, chili mix atop the rice/quinoa mix and chicken.
  • Grab eating utensils and go eat.
  • Get another helping if you want. I won’t judge you.
  • If you used paper plates (or other fine china), congrats, you’re awesome. Otherwise, yay, we get to do the dishes!

There you have it! Alternatively, you can just divvy up the food however you want it, I just felt like doing it this way.
I hope you enjoyed this little bitty about food, and that it makes your tum tum want to go YUM YUM. Until next time!
***Times listed are an approximation. Always make sure your food is cooked thoroughly, and to use a thermometer for accurate food temperatures. We are not responsible if you get sick, cross-contaminate, pork the poultry, or kill someone with your reckless cooking, and vice versa. This was for informational purposes, and to inspire other people to get off their asses and cook a goddamn meal for themselves or their family. If you were inspired, great. If you weren’t, you fucking savage animal! You rebel. I like you.

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